


Cicada

by drelfina



Category: Naruto
Genre: But hey enjoy, Chakra Theory, Crack, Edo Tensei happens, Founders Era, Fourth Shinobi War, Gen, I don't really care about the Fourth Shinobi War, I spent a Lot Of Time on this Really You Can Tell, Jutsu development and refinement, Kiri Nin OC, M/M, Madara's hashiboob, Pining of a sort, Science and Technology of Jutsu development, To be fair MadaTobira is hinted rather than open, crack taken semi-seriously, i labelled this teen for Madara's Hashiboob, semi-serious crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22348255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drelfina/pseuds/drelfina
Summary: Jutsu development was one of the things that Senju Tobirama did.Then he died at the hands of the Gold and Silver Brothers at the end of the second shinobi war.in the fourth Shinobi War, they bring the Kage back.Alternate Title: I come from Legend
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Comments: 60
Kudos: 566





	Cicada

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evocates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evocates/gifts), [rikacain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikacain/gifts).



> Well okay so like. Evocates shared a comment with me from their fic, and I was like. I can do this. I can write crack no matter what. 
> 
> .... 
> 
> and then i did. 
> 
> I gift this fic to Evocates because I can 
> 
> And I gift it to Rikacain because SHISHAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

During the course of development of a new jutsu, there were a few stages that were always the same.

Identifying a problem: it didn't matter whether the problem was "I need to kill someone ten metres away but he's looking at me so i have to make sure he can't see me" or "there's a significant number of people trying to kill me, time to breathe underwater!" or even something like "there seems to be a minor gap in the theory of chakra refinement and channeling. What if I…"

Then there was the application of theory - where one went into the theories and prior experience of jutsu use and application, interrogating how chakra and jutsu interacted with the natural world. Suiton, for example, was always a little easier to use if the jutsu-caster took into account the surrounding humidity, unless one used chakra to clearly and sharply delineate the water molecules from the atmosphere. If one examined how the shunshin worked, it was really a matter of increasing speed - there was no real teleportation involved. Carefully constructed theories on the exact nature of chakra would open up new avenues to get to what you wanted, after all.

Then designing the new jutsu. _If_ chakra theory was exactly as expected, _then_ these seals in _this_ order, using _this_ kind of chakra, should have specific results. _Theoretically_ , the designed jutsu was always perfect. Especially when simulated.

It was always the testing, then refinement stage that was… interesting. Sometimes they revealed holes in theory that Tobirama would definitely need to put to paper or open up a whole new avenue of enquiry he'd set aside for an Extremely Dry Day of When I Have Time.

Other times… well.

There were so many times that Tobirama ended up, for want of a better word, stabbing himself.

And even _then_ , short of actually dying, these always revealed unintended side-effects that Tobirama could utilise for himself and refine within the jutsu. It's a feature, not a bug.

When he developed the hiraishin, he discovered one such side-effect, and decided that it was definitely a useful safeguard.

* * *

When Orochimaru faced off against his sensei on the rooftops of Konohagakure, he was only able to bring back Shodaime.

It might not have been as shocking to use just the Shodaime against Hiruzen, but it was still enough to weaken him that Orochimaru could take him down with a little effort.

Who knew how reincarnation really worked?

Senju Tobirama must have reincarnated long ago, when he had died far away near Lightning.

* * *

When Madara faced off the collective shinobi of the world, he'd had to laugh.

They'd brought back their Gods, all of the dead and gone Hokage; he could detect Hashirama's distinctive mokuton chakra; they thought piling on every damn kage would be enough against him? Once, a long time ago, maybe Hashirama alone

 ~~It had almost been enough, once~~.

But with the Rinnegan? With the power of the Ten-tailed bijuu? All four of their past Hokage..

No.

There was just three.

"You're missing one," he said, and laughed.

His chest hurt, but it had to be because this damnable Edo Tensei body and its implanted cells made it hard to breathe.

Without Senju Tobirama to counteract his fire, well.

They were going to see what it meant to face the wrath of Susano'o.

* * *

Shishamo had not had time to grab very many things when the call to arms came. But it was important - no, it was _dire_ ; so he grabbed what scrolls he could.

Many of them he could hardly name, but at least one was old, way before his sensei's time, even , perhaps all the way from the Founding of Kirigakure.

And if they were so carefully kept, they had to have weapons so powerful, so secret, that this was the only time to use them.

If what they were facing was the end of the world in flames, then suiton of unimaginable secrecy had to be the only thing to counteract them.

"Please Hadou no Kami," Shisamo said, shoving the scrolls into his pouches, before he paused to swap out his Kiri hitai-ate for the Allied Shinobi Forces' one. "Bless our endeavours."

Bring down the crazed Uchiha.

* * *

In the messy fighting that followed, Shishamo had no real chance to break out the scrolls.

Only when he had pulled back, panting, close to try and defend the Mizukage, did he manage to pull out the first scroll he could reach.

Before he could try to unseal it though the lashing chakra of the bijuu snagged it from him - ripped the scroll.

"Fuck-!"

He had barely time to curse his luck - or maybe pray for quick death that would shield his Mizukage enough for her to retreat when lightning exploded from the scroll.

And Hadou no Kami landed right on Shishamo.

"Hadou no kami-sama!"

Hadou no Kami, about to look AT Shishamo, suddenly flung a hand up and out, and water answered his call, coalescing out of the atmosphere in such huge volume that Shishamo had not even seen possible by their best, Hoshigaki Kisame had, once upon a time. The literal wall of water shoved the bijuu's tail aside as easily as a man swatting a fly, and Hadou no Kami stood up.

"What did you _call_ me?"

"Ha-"

"Senju Tobirama-san," the Mizukage said. "You're supposed to be dead, Hadou no Kami-sama."

Hadou no Kami turned to blink bright red eyes at her.

"I beg your pardon," Senju Tobirama said.

Shishamo made a noise. "Hadou no Kami-sama -!"

"Stop grovelling, you're kiri-nin, aren't you?" Tobirama said, his forehead creased a little. "Kiri shinobi have not once _ever_ in their lives grovelled."

"Quite right," the Mizukage smirked. "How nice that you've returned to us, Hadou no Kami-sama."

* * *

"........ stop that," Tobirama said. "How is this - "

He'd been gone what, eight _hours_? The most _restful_ eight hours of his life, a nice uninterrupted period of sleep because…

Well when the Gold and Silver Brothers had attacked him, and he'd held them off till his students got far enough away, he'd used the hiraishin to just… pull to nothing.

His chakra levels had been almost negligible at that point, and honestly, he'd expected to die.

Instead, the fail-safe had kicked in, and he'd actually had a nice long rest to heal up in.

And now he was back in a bloody battlefield.

He could feel his headache come right back.

"What on earth is going on? I thought it was bad enough with Uzushio-"

"It wasnt right that _fire_ country got to have someone like _you_ ," the Mizukage said (Godaime Mizukage, according to her hat), "So we took you."

It sounded… spiteful, angry, and actually fairly understandable. But also.. "Can you not call me that?" Tobirama said, rubbing at his forehead, which was better than burying his face in his hands.

"You're ours now, Hadou no Kami-sama," she said poisonously sweet. "I've made _offerings_ to you since I could hold a kunai."

"No you're _not_ ," roared a very, VERY familiar voice, and Uchiha Madara slammed through the wall of water to grab TObirama by the shoulder. "You're MINE."

Tobirama twisted automatically, spinning to break his hold, and slapping a palm-strike against the man's chest to shove him away -

He looked down.

And realised that.

One: Madara was shirtless.

Two: Madara literally had two sets of eyes staring at him. _Two_.

"I," Tobirama said after a little bit of horrified staring back. "Am not talking to you with two sets of eyeballs. Go put a shirt on."

Madara blinked at him.

"This is taking your obsession with my brother a little too far."

"It's not Hashirama-!"

Tobirama raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him and folded his arms. "Go put a shirt on."

Madara gaped a little, and then his hair started to bristle in outrage.

Tobirama snorted, and turned on his heel. "If you're here - Anija… Over there. Right. I'm going over there and wring the story out of him. This must somehow be _his_ fault even though he's supposed to be _dead_."

"You're not just _leaving_ me again, Senju!"

Tobirama ignored him.

There was ANOTHER bijuu running around, Madara was alive and obsessed with his brother to the nth degree, and yet another country had decided to confer godhood onto him.

This _had_ to be Hashirama's fault.

* * *

In developing the hirashin, Tobirama messed with the folding of space-time - which resulted in him slamming himself into the literal spaces of his hirashin markers as he tried to refine its … folding.

So that meant he'd stabbed himself with many kunai, senbon, a few rocks, and one memorable time, a storage scroll.

To be fair, it had been very peaceful in there until Touka accidentally stepped on it.

**Author's Note:**

> **  
>  Omake:    
>  **
> 
> Madara: Why - why are you walking away. GODDAMIT SENJU DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME AGAIN 
> 
> Tobira: You could be professing eternal love to me and I honestly wouldn't be able to take you seriously with Anija's face staring at me from your... chest. 
> 
> Madara: For FUCK"S SAKE. *chases after Tobirama* 
> 
> Fourth Shinobi War: Derailed.
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
>  **  
>  Omake 2:    
>  **
> 
> Tobira: *sleeps in the scroll for 8 hours* 
> 
> 8 Decades Later: 
> 
> Tobira: ………. FFS.
> 
> * * *
> 
> **  
>  Omake 3:    
>  **
> 
> Tobira: ....WHY is madara running around without a shirt? IS HE AFRAID THAT NO ONE WOULD NOTICE HIS FANTASTIC PHYSIQUE? HAS NONE OF HIS CLAN TOLD HIM TO COVER UP?!
> 
> Everyone: um.... the Uchiha are gone. 
> 
> Tobira: What. 
> 
> Tobira: I left you guys for TWO MINUTES 
> 
> Hiruzen: 8 decades 
> 
> Tobira: TWO MINUTES, 
> 
> Tobira: the Uchiha were bitching and moaning at me the ENTIRE TIME i was hokage and they're GONE!? 
> 
> Tobira: *FACEPALM* HIRUZEN. 
> 
> Hiruzen: Time to vanish.
> 
> * * *
> 
> OKAY so like part of this was not only a comment that Evocates received, but then when Tobirama shows back up I was like, wait, wait, what if tobirama's 'death' but apparently no body-found-ness meant that he could well have entered into legendary status? Conferred some sort of godhood? 
> 
> And the fact that he literally can summon and stop tsunamis is already very godlike - in evocates' fic, he literally was conferred a god title. 
> 
> what if Water Country and Kirigakure in particular was Very Pissed that someone like Tobirama ended up in FUCKING FIRE COUNTRY? 
> 
> of all Countries, he belongs to THEM GODDAMMIT 
> 
> Also, this apparently kind of happened to Yang Guifei - there's supposedly a legend or folktale that instead of dying in China, she ended up escpaing to Japan and staying there lol. 
> 
> Why wouldn't some similar myth happen to Tobirama? Just shamelessly claim him. :D


End file.
